AIRTEL 4G: How to switch and enjoy?

Disclaimer: I do not have a 4G enabled device but I know what 4G means. Also I do not often write on tech but I am sure this would be useful. Sarcasm guaranteed.

So Airtel launched 4G and it’s all over media (outdoor, news print, tv, radio etc.). Radio ad caught my attention in particular. The voice artist has used a lot of accent to say 4G so it sounds like Fauji. I thought for once it was a DD ad re-launching Shahrukh (Fauji) (note to the brand manager, it would cost just INR 7000 to get the voice artist to do a dubbing, get the spot recorded again).

Step by step approach (fool proof and you will get it right even if you are stupid).

A. Ok so how to switch.

1. Check if you have a phone.
2. Check if it is feature or smart.
3. If smart, check if it supports data.
4. If it does, check if it supports 4G.
5. Go to Airtel site and order a 4G sim (it’s free, yay, 3G plan automatically updates to 4G). They say delivered in 4 hours mine was delivered in 4 days. It’s free so no complains.
6. Take delivery of the SIM, offer some water to the delivery boy, he took all the pain to deliver your SIM.
7. Open the SIM.
8. SMS SIM followed by 20 digit sim number to 121.
9. Old one will be deactivated. Throw it away or chew it. It’s free.
10. Insert new SIM.

B. Now how to use.

Pick your car and start driving (I am assuming that you have a car if you can afford 4G in India). Go to the nearest stationery store. Buy permanent markers, post it flags and some staplers and pins (this is especially for ladies because you would be out on the street for a very long time to use 4G so stapler might work as a weapon for you, staple the bad guys, what a cool idea Sirji, sorry for digressing. But did you start thinking of Abhishek Bachchan for a second? Not allowed).

Switch on your phone and wait for signal. Keep permanent marker handy. Start driving. Keep your eyes on the phone screen and try to connect to the net. Whenever you get connected, use the marker to make a big cross on the road or wall or tree etc. Move on, keep doing this till you have marked all the 10 spots in Delhi where you can be connected to the net on Airtel 4G. Don’t bother going on top of flyovers, your would waste fuel, don’t go close to the airport etc.
You could also use post it flags to mark your spots and look cool.
Hope you were smart and also dropped a Google pin on the map to mark those spots.

There your are it’s done. Whenever you want to access 4G, drive to one of those spots and access seamless 4G.

Tips and tricks:
1. Never share these locations with anyone.
2. If you want to get rich, buy those 10 places and open cyber cafes there. Only you would have 4G in Delhi. Rest all can pay you.
3. Black mail Airtel that you know the secret spots and that you would reveal it to press and extort money.
4. Install jammers at these spots when you are on holiday so only you have access to 4G in Delhi (you would be so powerful).

If you have not read this article, you don’t know the tricks. Keep calling 121 to complain that you are not getting 4G.

For the rest, see you at one of those 10 spots.
East or west, Airtel 4G is the best.

Disclaimer 2: Use the same steps for any other city and it would work fool proof.

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