Those who read my post yesterday would assume that I have an #iPhone6 but the smarter ones (not referring to you) would have made out that I don’t (I left a subtle hint in the post). But no one can tell the difference.
It’s the same like “if you are not brave, pretend to be, none can tell the difference.” I say “if you don’t have an #iPhone6 pretend to have one, no one can ever find out” unless they are as smart as this blogger.
Disclaimer: Received about 3078 messages from users who did not have an #iPhone6 after they read my post yesterday (while they were not supposed to) that they wanted to get over the humiliation so dedicating this article to them.
Use the following tips and tricks:
1. The auto rickshaw trick: run into the office panting and looking sad, don’t answer the first few people who ask what is wrong. Then looking gloomy confide into one person (carefully pick that person, should be the one who cannot keep anything to themselves, there is always one in each office, in my office I held that useful position). Sob slightly and tell that you bought an #iphone6 yesterday (even more tragic would be, my hubby gifted one last night) and today morning left in the auto. There you have it, you were the proud owner of an #iPhone6 without spending a rupee, everyone will know about it and you will also get sympathy for some time. Your boss might also give you a day off to mourn.
2. The social media update trick: wait for the launch date and be the first one to update the social media with the following post “Can’t believe, I got the #iPhone6 on the very first day, Yippee”, option 2 “I have the best husband, see what I got” and post a pic from google of the new #iPhone6, option 3 “upload a selfie with the caption- my first selfie from my awesome new #iPhone6”. Fool proof and no doubt all will believe. If you have a few spare dollars (ironical question but some humiliation for you is ok) promote those posts on social media to let most people know.
3. The signature trick: whatsapp, SMS or mail all have the option to add a signature (I know you are not smart enough to understand subtle hints so I would elaborate), take some extra effort to type out “sent from my #iPhone6”. It makes you look cool, it’s subtle and Sure way for people to be reminded and feel jealous every time you send a message.
4. The thief trick: you are stepping out of a mall which is over crowded and you have every right to lose you wallet, your bag or your …..(#iPhone6 you dumb witted person). It’s a great and believable story. You can also add a couple of bandages to your arm or face to show that you fought with them (be an opportunist, #iPhone launch happens in October, bravery awards are in January, also apply for the same, you never know, the entire world could know about your lost #iPhone6 which never was and you could get a new #iPhone6 from the President himself (Gyani Jail Singh or Adbul Kalam, I don’t remember, one of the two but spellings are correct).
Now for some tips:
1. Buy an #iphone6 cover for whichever phone you have and force fit it.
2. Use headphone as much as possible and keep your phone in your pocket at all times.
3. Participate in discussions and forums on apple apps and #iPhone6 review sessions.
4. Abuse Koreans, Japanese and Chinese (not people dumbo (have some love and respect for yellow people) phones) and never be seen with them else remember what happened to the 6th guy yesterday, he was beaten black and blue (which was coincidently and ironically the colour of his phone). (In this tip I have used parenthesis in parenthesis which is super cool- and remembered to close both brackets).
5. Keep talking about the #iPhone 7 launch date.
6. Don’t hang around with other losers who do not have #iPhone6 (even if she is cute).
7. Keep repeating 1 to 6 and the world would believe.
See it’s not difficult to fool the world (with your level of intellect) and making them believe that you have an #iPhone6.
BTW when is the #iPhone7 launching (photo attached) and is the iOS 8.2 update available yet for the #iPhone6.
Signing off. Happy Diwali.
Sent from my #iPhone6.